Now, Papa Schu does not promote sex during these songs—this is not baby making music—but no matter what your preference of music, some songs should be known by everybody.
Sublime – Caress Me Down
Specifically focusing on a one on one freak session, Sublimes’ “Caress me Down”, focuses on man’s best friend, a blow job. Not only a catchy song that mixes reggae, punk rock into two different languages, it also explicitly spells out the act of getting it on with a booty call.
‘So she told me to come over and I took that trip
and then she pulled out my mushroom tip
and when it came out it went drip, drip, drip,’
Nine Inch Nails – Closer
Unlike all the other songs, Papa Schu does bang to this song. The beginning causes Papa Schu to quiver with lust, with a constant heartbeat like downbeat—get a tissue. This is when you want to ride dirty all night long.
‘I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god’
Cake – The Distance
A very catchy song, this poetic masterpiece is not directly about sex, but something much more common, masturbating. Probably the most listenable song in the list, you can probably play this song in front of grandma and would not lift an eyebrow about meaning. If you haven’t heard this song before, please expand your mind.
‘The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,
and long ago somebody left with the cup.
But he’s driving and striving and hugging the turns.
And thinking of someone for whom he still burns.
He’s going the distance.
He’s going for speed.’
Buckcherry – Crazy Bitch
Papa Schu really ‘feels’ these lyrics. How many of us have been in a relationship with someone that was nuts, and the only thing keeping the relationship together was the great sexual chemistry.
‘Scream so loud, getting fuckin’ laid
You want me to stay, but I got to make my way
Hey
You’re a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I’m on top of it
When I dream, I’m doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on’
Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar on Me
Not only a great bar song, this Def Leppard hit does know express how to get it on.
‘You got the peaches, I got the cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
‘Cos I’m hot, say what, sticky sweet
from my head, my head, to my feet’
Tori Amos – Raspberry Swirl
An oddity in the countdown, Tori Amos expresses a woman point of view of receiving head o—got work on this terminology— or an orgasm, before getting it on. Unlike Peaty Pablo, who does not lick it, before he kicks it, Tori Amos suggests you better anything to make her ‘raspberry swirl’*. The chorus suggests:
‘If you want inside her
Well,
Boy you better make her raspberry swirl’
**Raspberry Swirl is very poetic
Bloodhound Gang – The Bad Touch
Even though goofy as hell, this song just illustrates how sex is just an animal instinct.
‘Do it now
You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel’
Korn – ADIDAS
A song probably dedicated to a young kid going through puberty*, this song reminds Papa Schu first time watching porn on computer*, ADIDAS stresses the addiction of thinking about anything sex related. ADIDAS being an acronym for:
‘All day I dream about sex’
*Those load speeds were great. Now Papa Schu is not talking about videos, but thumbnails, on dial up. With a simple URL, like Boobs.com, within 20 minutes boobs were everywhere. Papa thinks porn is taking for granted now by the youth. Do they know what real pain is? Try yelling at your parents when they pick-up the phone and booted you off the internet in mid-jerk.
Queen – Fat Bottom Girls
Like Ludacris’ Saturday, Queen also loves fat asses.** Suggested by the lyrics, a little meat on the bones is all more cushin’ for the pushin’.
‘Oh but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Hey big woman you gonna make a big man of me’
*Papa Schu loves a big ass. People say the apple ass, but Papa likes to call it the upside down heart ass. On the other hand, an awful ass, with no firmness, is considered a poop ass—cause it looks like she shit her pants.
**Even gay, Freddy Mercury still can respect a great ass.
Billy Idol – Rebel Yell
One of Papa’s favorite 80’s songs, Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” expresses the natural desire of moaning during the act. This song might of single handily given Billy Idol multiple STDs.
‘She said “Come on baby I got a license for love
And if it expires pray help from above”
In the midnight hour she cried- “more, more, more”
With a rebel yell she cried- “more, more, more”
Honorable Mentions
A Perfect Circle – The Hollow
About either sex addiction, or ignoring the pain of not being able to love, by casually fucking
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic
Drugs, sex and rock and roll is all Papa Schu can say
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Suck My Kiss
No explanation needed
Bill Squire – The Stroke*
No explanation needed
Any Led Zeppelin song really
*This song is in Billy Madison when he is trying to look cool outside his car on his first day of High School
