OK! I’M JUS A POOR BLACK MAN ON MY WAY 2 SAN FRAN VAN DAMN!!!!!
YEA, I SAID VAN DAMN, CAUSE I’M SO MAD I WANNA CUSS U OUT THEN KICK U IN THE ASS!
SO I’M HEADED OUT WEST NIGGA & WE START OUR ADVENTURE @ THE AIRPORT WHERE I FOUND A FLIGHT 4 A BALL. THAT’S ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR MY EBONICALLY CHALLENGED MUFUKAS ($100) ON N.W.A. (NIGGA’S WIT AIRPLANES).
SO AS I GET ON THE PLANE, I NOTICE ALL THE USUAL SUSPECTS: CRYN BABY, SCARY OLD LADY, FOREIGN GUY, BLACK GIRL LOST, THE BITNESS MAN & THE OTHER BROTHER.
SO SOON AS I GOT ON THE PLANE, I SAW THE OTHER BROTHER & HE GAVE ME THE INTERNATIONAL NIGGA CHECK. U KNOW, THAT HEAD NOD, “I DON’T KNOW U NIGGA, BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS NIGGA, I GOT UR BACK” LIKE WE A SECRET NIGGA SECURITY & THAT’S OUR SIGNAL FOR WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN.
EVERYTIME I GOT SUM WHERE & THERE’S NOT A LOTTA BLACK PPL, THE ONES I SEE ALL GIVE ME THE NIGGA CHECK, FROM OLD MORGAN FREEMAN NIGGAS 2 YOUNG JEEZY LOOKN NIGGAS WITH SUNGLASSES ON @ NIGHT. THEY ALL GIVE ME A NIGGA CHECK.
I HAD MY OWN SEAT ALL 2 MYSELF UNTIL SCARY OLD LADY GOT HERE & SHE REALLY DIDN’T WANT 2 SIT NEXT 2 ME. BUT THE PLANE WAS PACKED SO GRAND PHEE WAS RIDING WITH MRS. DAISY.
THEN I PULLED OUT A BOOK (LIFE SAVER) & SHE DIDN’T WANNA INTERRUPT. I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON SUM OL SKOOL RACISM 2 KEEP PPL FROM BEING 2 CHATTY ON THE PLANE ESPECIALLY WHEN I START TALKN IN SLANG LIKE, “WUTS POPULATIN U PASTY OLD BITCH, STOP HATIN & GET MONEY NIGGA!” AND MY FAVORITE, “EAT A DICK OLD NIGGA,” BUT NONE OF THIS WORKED 2 DAY.
I CAN HEAR BITNESS MAN IN BITNESS CLASS ALL THE WAY IN COACH. THIS GUY THINKS CAUSE HE PAID MORE 4 HIS TICKET, THAT HE’S THE H.N.I.C. HE SHOULD HAV WENT 2 KAYAK.COM. SO HE STANDIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROW LIKE IT’S HIS PLANE…MAN, SIT YO SORTA IMPORTANT ASS DOWN SOMEWHERE.
& BLACK GIRL LOST ON A TRIP WITH A DOOFY WHITE DUDE. GUESS SHE TRYN 2 GET HER CREDIT 2GETHER. SHE HAD HER WEAVE TIGHT THO. HOPE DUDE KNOWS NOT 2 TOUCH HER HAIR. THATS THE FIRST THING WHITE GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BLACK WOMEN. THEIR HAIR IS THE HOLY GRAIL. IF SHE DNT CARE ABOUT HER HAIR, SHE AIN’T REALLY BLACK.
CRYN BABY WAS THE SON OF FOREIGN GUY. I COULDN’T TELL IF HE WAS CRYN IN ENGLISH OR ANOTHER LANGUAGE.
SO FOREIGN GUY ASKED ME OF ALL PPL IF WE COULD SWITCH SEATS SO HE CAN SIT ACROSS FROM HIS FOREIGN WIFE & CRYN BABY AND OF COURSE I SAID HELL NO.
BUT I THINK I SHOULD’VE CAUSE CRYN BABY WENT IN HARD. HE CRIED NEXT 2 ME FOR ALMOST 2 HRS THE WHOLE FLIGHT.
I THINK HE MADE THAT BABY CRY CAUSE I WOULDN’T LET HIM SIT IN MY SEAT.
SO ANYWAY, IT GOT SO BAD THEY PASSED THE BABY 2 SUM RANDUM LADY WHO CLAIMS SHE HAS KIDS, 2 CALM THE CRYN BABY DOWN.
& THEN THIS BITCH ASKS THE MOTHER HOW SHE FEEDS HIM, BOTTLE OR TITTIE.
& SHE LIKE “HUH?” THEN THE RANDUM LADY SAYS “OH, MY KIDS HATE THE BOTTLE.”
OH YEA, THERE WAS THIS GUY BEHIND ME WHO’S BREATH I COULD SMELL IN FRONT OF ME. DAT SHIT HAD MY EYES WATERING & HE KEPT TELLN THESE LAME ASS STORIES LIKE HE WAS ENTERTAINING THE ENTIRE MUFUKN PLANE.
I WANTED 2 JUMP UP & JUS START HITTEN THIS DUDE IN THE MOUTH, NOT WIT MY FIST BUT WIT MINTS. MEDICATED DOCTOR PRESCRIBED MINTS, BY THE HAND FULL, JUST CHUCKN DEM SHITS @ HIM.
SO THE AIRPORT IS WHERE PPL WIT NO LIFE TELL THEIR BITNESS 2 COMPLETE STRANGERS DURING SMALL TALK & HOPE FOR THE BEST.
THATS WHY I GOT THAT BOOK I THINK. SO SHOCKING 2 SEE A NIGGA LIKE ME READ A BOOK. PPL WOULDN’T DARE DISTURB ME EVEN IF IT IS
O.J.’s BOOK.
ANOTHER RANT BY GRAND PHEE
