I am a very picky guy. I like everything around me a certain way. What I eat, how I dress and even my level of entertainment, all matter to me (like most normal people). I believe we can all agree that many people fall into this category. Like most men, when it comes to relationships, I do have certain expectations but it can be extremely flexible. Women, on the other hand would not change a thing and have the expectations of the world. The slightest infringement on their personal beliefs of how a relationship is run is like a supernova. Big explosions with massive consequences.
It’s a bold statement and I don’t argue this with you (the reader), however, hear me out for just a moment. Men are simple creatures that don’t require much maintenance. Give him a six pack of beer, an XBox and some nudie mags, most likely you won’t hear from him for a while. Men don’t need their feelings reinforced every five minutes and they certainly don’t need any form of communication every five minutes. Now on the opposite spectrum, girls need the total opposite. They need attention all the time to the point where it starts to affect your personal life like a JOB! Women need compliments to reassure them that their man still finds them adequate enough to be with them. Now, imagine putting these two beings in the same room. Got it? It’s a called a relationship. I for one approve of gay marriage because quite frankly, homosexuals have the right to be miserable like everyone else!
I know it sounds negative but in all seriousness, it’s very hard to reason with your partner, especially with women. There is no compensating with the “woman” and expectations have to be met, otherwise a vaginal mutiny will occur. That’s right! I said it! I’ve experienced a sex strike and it’s not fun. You work so hard to get with a woman and then she holds out on the one thing that keeps you sane. The one activity that you tried to do on the daily in high school is taken away from you like a cellphone in a classroom. It’s madness. Instead of fighting, throwing fits and cursing family members, can’t we just drop everything and get busy? But we can’t because that would mean the woman is giving too much leeway and may appear to be less firm about the relationship.
“Going somewhere Ari?” is the phrase that pays with all my lady friends. “Just going out with my friends. Going to go watch monster trucks kill each other,” I would say to the lady. “So that’s more important than me, huh? Fine. Whatever. Don’t spend time with me, dick” she replies. This is where I begin to groan and a woman’s “commonsense” is thrown out the window. Just because I don’t like to spend every waking moment with my girlfriend makes me a bad partner? Really? I don’t like to see anyone everyday of the week. Not even Rhyson Hall or Phee or DJ Hurryupnbuy! No one. Although the advantage of a woman is the physicality of the situation, even that doesn’t make up for the irritation. Another boundary is broken in her book and I’m forced to sleep on the couch.
Bottom line ladies and gents is that I feel women can act extremely irrational. Men are capable of the same thing and I think we’ve all seen it. But the majority of stories I hear lead me to believe that women are slightly guiltier of being from outerspace than men. Sure, most problems are started because of men. But these problems would never have occurred if the guy wasn’t being a victim to the vaginal mutiny. You think Bush would’ve invaded Iraq had his wife given up some play? If you break any rules in my book, it’s not the end of the world and I’ll try to reason with you. But reasoning with a mad woman is like some sort of paranormal activity occurring in twilight zone. Ya dig?
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