Opinions are like assholes.  Everybody has one and all of them smell like shit, besides for Papa Schu’s (of course).   These are the rants from October:

1.  Facebook

Statistics show that people access Facebook two times more often than viewing porn.*  Papa Schu (PS) loves Facebook but unfortunately some people love it too much.  If any of these rants apply to you, find the nearest window and jump out.

*PS makes his own porn.

Relationship Status Changes

• Why the fuck do we need to see the “Its Complicated With” status?  Does this mean you are fucking someone that does not want to be with you?

• Constantly being in and out of relationships just means you a whore with emotional issues (male or female).

Philosophical Status Updates

• Get a fucking psychiatrist.  Please do not use Facebook as a medium for expression about how one feels in life (especially using music quotes).  Nobody cares about your emotional problems.   Get a tissue and wipe your vagina (this includes men).  Do what PS does, bottle all your emotions up, and drink ‘em away on Friday and Saturday.

*Quoting a Lady Gaga song about your feelings does not mean you are a deep thinker. Try Buddha?
**Get a journal or diary, that way nobody has to read it.

Those Stupid Quizzes

• What the fuck is Farmville? Why should I care what Sex in the City character you are?

*Papa Schu is Miranda.

Papa Schu’s Thoughts

• PS has three addictions; women, crystal meth and Facebook

• Never say “Facebook me” when talking to people

2.  The Courtesy Wave

Papa Schu enjoys the little things in life.  Receiving a courtesy wave not only makes the day but shows that humankind still has some compassion for one another.  On the other hand, the blatant disrespect of not receiving a courtesy wave really grinds Papa Schu’s gears.  Two times during the month a verbal altercation has came up from of a courtesy wave.  How hard is it to wave your fucking hand?

Event 1

Papa Schu waved over a pedestrian (even though not having the right of way), and did not receive the courtesy wave.

Papa Schu exclaimed out of the window, “Next time I will fucking hit you!”

Event 2

As a pedestrian walker, Papa Schu always cuts into traffic without regard for his well-being (might not be a well thought out scenario with no health insurance).  After weaving through traffic one day and acknowledging every car with an appropriate courtesy wave, a motorist exclaimed out the window,“Watch where you are going!”

In response PS stated, “I can’t hear you with that dick in your mouth.”

The elderly lady got offended and decided to call the police.*

*PS sprinted in the opposite direction

Papa Schu’s thoughts

Courtesy waves should be considered like the ‘no homo’ comment.

• “I am listening to Tori Amos during work, no homo.”*

• “Fernando Torres has a nice ass, no homo.”

Comments like these are 100% heterosexual. Similar to the ‘no homo’ comment, the courtesy wave should act as an eraser and all should be forgiven.

*PS enjoys Tori Amos

3.  Fantasy Football (Again)

A perfect 0-4 month has pushed PS over the edge with this game.   Fuck Fantasy Football.

4.  10 Things I Hate about Julia Styles (No Particular Order)

1. She looks like a golem with Down Syndrome
2. Identity of the girl next door. I never knew a girl next door with feet bigger than size 11.
3. Acting capability
4. Save the Last Dance*
5. She can’t dance
6. Her enormous dome. What’s the size of her hat?
7. Her unattractive raspy voice.
8. Gives a bad name to lesbians all over the world
9. Heath Ledger/Matt Damon made her career
10. She smells like poop and throw-up with fan on top**

*PS could write a 10 page rant about this movie
**Try to prove differently

Quote of Ranting Period
“Take my Fucking name off your Christmas List” 10/02/09

-Papa Schu
If it smells bad, taste it